Want, Need, Should

This morning, as I began my day with a prayer of gratitude, I realised that there really is not anything in the current state of my life that I can rant or fret about. I reflected upon the "issues" that I have to deal with and finally came upon the light of seeing that the "issues" are not "issues" after all.

I attended my first practice with the Young KL Singers (YKLS) yesterday and with utmost conviction I can announce in pride that I have not made a wrong decision. Granted this opportunity to be part of a group of people who share a common passion for singing and music, I know that I have created for myself a journey which would be enriched with new friends and fresh experiences, be they be in performing or working with others, social enlightenment, or musical and artistic enhancements within myself. As time takes its course, I would also take my course of change, hopefully also inviting Ones along the way. Knowing now what the whole year plan of events is in the YKLS, I am genuinely excited to be treading upon this path which I am yet to be familiar with, wanting to participate in everything that is on the calendar. My selfishness is disillusioning me into thinking that it is possible. However, my conscience and sensibility is telling me otherwise. The "issue" is, I am in an education limbo. Still not knowing where I will be when my pre-tertiary education begins and the academic schedule which I would be attached to, I have no decision control over my participation in any of the major events which have been planned. In fact, I do not even know if I could still be in this wonderful group which I have been given the opportunity to be in. Pondering upon this situation, I did wonder if I had made a wrong decision when I set my mind upon auditioning to be a member of the YKLS.

But as I said my thanks this morning, gratitude drew upon me the light to see that what I have viewed as a potential reason for regret, anger and frustration is really an occurence which is subtly teaching me to make picometres of changes to myself and the way I perceive situations. If I have viewed my position in the education limbo as an obstacle to the path of learning and freshness which YKLS offers, I now find myself to be very fortunate because my so-called "issues" are about things that I actually love doing. One is pursuing my dream in psychology and another is pursuing my passion in music and singing, which basically means that whatever I decide, I am still embracing my desires and passions. Going deeper into the situation, my dilemma is actually training me to be more matured and sensible in making decisions which would affect the future, near or far. My desires would bring me to make rash decisions which would eventually cause anger and irritation. On the flip side, using my logical reasoning and rationale, perhaps there will be some disappointment but at least I can take comfort in knowing that the decision is the best I can make in the here and now. Who could tell, perhaps through this decision, I would somehow open my life up to far more beauty, which I could carry along in my bagpack of gratitude.

As unwilling as we are to admit this fact, there truly is a bright side to everything. If we will ourselves to ponder and to allow situations to speak for themselves, perhaps then it will be possible to convert every happening, good or bad, as an experience to Feed Ones. And our bagpacks of gratitude would be more than willing to accept more and more Ones into its family of acknowledgement and thankfulness.