Saturday, October 16, 2010

Tube of Realisation

To be from where I am, one would learn to despise local train rides. I have not had my fair share of encounters with instances of a failed public transportation system so I'm not numb to train rides yet. Numbness would only mean that I could not be bothered anymore with delayed trains, selfish passengers and stuffy coaches. Train rides would just be a passing blur of necessary commute to get to my destination. And that would be sad because then I would not be present to the present and so I would be spending an hour of every week in a state of non-existence. Hence, I am grateful that I am not numb to train rides. Not yet, hopefully never. I am happy that I am still complaining about it and dreading it. To still have reaction to unpleasant experiences means that I am existing in that moment of unpleasantness. Which means I exist in moments of pleasantness. Which means I am just as capable to react to pleasant experiences. And that would not be sad, that would be awesome.

To the train ride I had yesterday night,I thank you.
You showed me the night outside from the windows of your cooling, spacious tube.
You evoked in me a fond familiar feeling of arriving on the tarmac of a foreign airport at night in a dimly lit cabin of an impressively constructed aeroplane.
I thank you too, street lamps in the distance, for that, because you are the very stimulus to the evocation of that feeling.
Thank you, train ride on the night of yesterday, because you reminded me that I have much more freedom than I had just a few months ago.
To have that freedom, I am reminded that I am now more free to feel, to explore, to discover, to learn, to create, to experience.
I was close to going into a state of unawareness of this freedom I actually am so privileged to possess.
Thank you, train ride, for nudging me into my present.

You are awesome, train ride, because you made me a happy person, even if it was only
for that hour.

You are awesome, freedom, because you can come self-invited anytime, anywhere.

Monday, October 11, 2010

My Anything

This is not excitement, this is not a sudden gratification for the fact that I am alive and well. This is Something. It is Something because it can be Anything. It is Something because that means it has the endless possibility of being whatever it wants to be. And it can create Anything. That is the most awesome part of it.

I want to sing.
I want to laugh at myself.
I want to laugh with people.
I want to laugh with life.
I want to sing laughter.

I want to be awesome.
I want to let my family know that they are awesome.
I want to let everyone who has made a drive through my life know that they are awesome.
I want to be that one spot of awesomeness in a whole dense sphere of awesomeness that makes this world so awesome.
I want to let my family and everyone who has made a drive through my life know that they are the spots of awesomeness in my embodiment of awesomeness that makes me awesome.

I can want whatever I want. And this Something will be the tool for me to create my Anything.

Feel free to conjure up a world of your Anything.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Nomad. Know & Do.

Within the perimeters of music, I was a nomad. Shifting from the zones of Making & Listening to Just Listening, I was consistently inconsistent. Thankfully, I was never out of the perimeter. Sadly, often times, I would look or think about the piano in my house and create that I wasn't in the mood to do anything with it. At other times, I would look or think about the guitar that sits next to the piano and create that I wasn't in the mood too or that I wouldn't get to pick up learning this new instrument on my own. Even with the most intimate instrument that any individual can have - our voice - at times I would create that I "didn't feel like it". Very often I would fantasise about having the talent to do whatever I want to on the instruments I play. But then there would always be that "If only" which hampers it all. Hence, a nomad I became.

It frustrated even myself to be a nomad because I definitely had no intentions to be one but within myself, there was always this collision between knowing and doing. I know but I just did not allow myself away from the plateau, taking off from imaginary flatness.

This week, I participated in a choir competition. This being my first exposure to an international coming together of music, in a way, I was enlightened. Short of being a big scale event, its humble size perhaps enabled me to be more absorbed in the moment. And those two hours of music and choral singing allowed me the mental preparation for a take off from where I am right now.

Being completely enraptured in music is a wondrous flight for the mind and soul. I know because I have been on the flight. But I have forgotten because it's been too long since the last time. Watching my fellow singers and musicians delving deep into their musical selves only fueled me to search again and unleash mine.

For as long as I have typed, I was careful to use the past tense especially when mentioning I was a nomad. I may not have taken off yet, but I create that I am not giving the time and musical experience I had this week its fair justice if I don't take off anytime soon.

To a crescendo of a take-off and a consistently consistent flight,

I know and now I do.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

"Feeling"

The vastness still lies before me.
I am not standing on the same plateau anymore, therefore I do not view the vastness in the same way as I had when I first arrived.
The ground I set my feet upon now - it feels like another plateau.
But "feeling" is only a feeble state of mind, an allowance of inactivity.

The vastness still lies before me.
I have nothing to race against.
I have all passiveness within myself to overcome.

"Feeling" is a feeble state of mind, an allowance of inactivity.
Hence I need to "feel" less, but "know" more, "create" abundantly.

The vastness still lies awaiting before me.

Friday, March 19, 2010

"I'll Be Sad Later."

The above words were said by Eliot's mother when she and her husband were on the Oprah Winfrey show.

Eliot's parents, out of volition, made the choice to share the gloriously beautiful story of their little baby. Now countless hearts have been touched, many souls have been awakened.

99 days of pure happiness, celebrating the existence of a precious infant.



A lifetime of wonderful memories, rejoicing in the eternal happiness of God's little angel.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Classic!

Problem statement: Does the effectiveness of humour decrease with the number of times one watches a particular movie?

Hypothesis: The effectiveness of humour DOES decrease with the number of times one watches a particular movie.

Apparatus and materials: "Mr. Bean's Holiday" movie

Procedure:
1) The movie "Mr. Bean's Holiday" was watched for the THIRD time.
2) Results are recorded as below.

Results:
1) Audience (which only comprised of myself) cannot help feeling pleasantly entertained.
2) Audience (which only comprised of myself) had a good giggle.

Conclusion:
Hyothesis is rejected.
The effectiveness of humour DOES NOT decrease with the number of times one watches a particular movie. (Particular reference to "Mr. Bean's Holiday")

* The above experiment was not conducted according to proper scientific procedure. Any statements made in the report above are solely the personal opinion of the individual who carried out the experiment. The individual takes no responsibility in the case of any other individuals choosing, out of own free will, to trust the words of the individual who carried out the experiment.

* The above conclusion only pertains to the movie "Mr. Bean's Holiday" (perhaps also to the episodes from the truly classic "Mr. Bean" series) and no others as the individual who carried out the experiment had used ONLY the above movie as the subject of the experiment.

Attached to this report is a clip of the individual's most loved scene:



Vive le Bean!^^

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Stand Firm, Not Rigid

Try carrying out a routine which you have been doing at the same place, for the same duration of time, now at a different place, a different atmosphere but still keeping an equal amount of time. I have tried it and in a way, it creates a different effect, or feeling, if you may. To describe that difference would be pretty tricky as it really is a very subtle, almost insignificant difference. But as minor a change as it may be, it is actually very detectable.

When I realised that, my mind somehow created an immediate connection between the above situation and the way we think or perceive. I would liken both this way:

Routine act & Time = Our mindset
Location of carrying out routine act = The concept within our mindset

It is really an obvious analogy. When we do a certain activity for a certain period of time at a certain place, and then try to do it in a different location (even if that means only moving from one room to another room or having music on when it used to be that there was only silence), it is almost inevitable that there will arise a particular difference in the effect or feeling which we would get after the routine. Similarly, shifting the dominant concepts or ideas which are contained in our mindsets would definitely create a difference in the way we perceive and ultimately, in the way we feel about ourselves and the way we act.

Random thought: I am beginning to sound like a motivational speaker. But really, my intention is just to speak/post/type my thoughts (which were created this morning).

Just after typing the above sentence, I was interrupted by a man who checks the electricity meter and gives electricity bills (I call them simply as, the "electric men"). That short encounter itself has given me an extra point to support my thoughts. It is now noon here and the KL sun is perhaps laughing out a hearty one (a little too hearty, perhaps). Walking from house to house with a little calculating machine in hand, dressed in an all blue uniform, I don't suppose being an "electric man" is exactly exciting. But this man whom I just met a little while ago portrayed otherwise. Walking to the meter with a jovial hello, passing me the bill with a thankful welcome, moving on to the next house with a smile in his voice, humming loudly, I could sense not a hint of reluctance or boredom. I am not yet capable of deducing the activities in his mind but I am almost certain that the level of joy and sincerity he has in his job is empowered by the fact that he created himself to be so. Or rather, he allowed himself the space to create a mindset which would bring him happiness and enjoyment in life, regardless of circumstances. Needless to say, another little encounter I am happy to add into my bagpack of gratitude.=)

I myself have been a victim of a stubborn mind. There is a sense of false accomplishment that I obtain when I seemed to have successfully stood my ground. But I think the question is, by being so deeply rooted into the ground we are standing on, are we allowing ourselves to grow?

Exploration and creation in life (whether minor or major) can only truly begin when we free ourselves to explore and create flexibility in our minds, carrying our roots along.